...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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