I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
