I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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