we have officially lost it.
im six kinds of drunk right now
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
