you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
