if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
they need to just BURY HIM!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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