Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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