yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
