he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
