We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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