Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
