So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
