stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
