he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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