you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
