is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
