we have officially lost it.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
