I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
