Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
