Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
