the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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