what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
