Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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