yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
