Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
