I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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