She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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