First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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