i just wanna soil my oats bro
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
