How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
