I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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