Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
