This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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