Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We are two peas in an std pod
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
