Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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