Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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