how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
