i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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