I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Two words: blizzard sex
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
