Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
