That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
