best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
