so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
is wine microwaveable?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Your penis caused this!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
