At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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