i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This is my gift to your gina
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
