he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
