If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
