worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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