Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
