Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
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